who knows you?

who knows you? 
who really know you?  
not just the 'you' that is put out there for people to see...the PTA meeting, church-going, 'clean up your house cause company is coming' you, but the person who wears a clemson snuggie around the house or the one who piles laundry on the couch that stays there for days.  or the 'you' who pretends sometimes (aka 'lies') because everyone thinks you're a much better and more trustworthy person than you feel like you are.  the 'you' is is afraid to get old and crotchety.

do you know yourself?  do you ever ask the question 'who am i??' 
(such a predictable subject for a midlife crisis type of blog, don't you think??  
before you pull out the world's smallest violin and a box of kleenex,  just bear with me...) 
do you ever just ask that question?  WHO AM I??  
not who do i want to be or who have i been, but who am i NOW?  
or maybe who i am is bigger than my age or station of life cause i really don't mean a list of jobs that i hold like 'hi, my name is tracy and i'm a mom, a wife, a college grad, a gemini, etc...'  (you get the picture right?)
but who am i on the inside?  in the secret?  when i'm honest or when i think no one is looking.   do you ever take a good look at yourself to find out?
van gogh asking 'who am i??'  this is his good side, the one with an ear
for me this is a really important exercise...self assessment.  asking.  or telling. maybe you should tell yourself who you really and truly are.   In his book Listening to Your Life, Frederick Beuchner says this: "It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are--even if we tell it only to ourselves--because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing."

so i'm asking...and telling...and listening...

Share this:

CONVERSATION

2 comments:

  1. oh dear. maybe it's the bostonian in me, but what you see is what you get. i often wonder if i should edit myself a little so that i would be more acceptable to the world. so hearing that you long to be less edited gives me some peace about that. and next time i stop by you better be sitting in a clemson snuggie next to a pile of laundry or i will be very sad. so happy you are blogging! can't wait for what's to come. this post reminds me of this ben folds song...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R07B3NbwIcg

    ReplyDelete
  2. yay, Tracy's blog!! love your words. love you.

    ReplyDelete