eureka! ...dammit.

i'm learning something.  and it's a hard lesson.

everything changes.  (you think i'd know that...blog title and all)
 


for example, my kids...
when my family was younger, i didn't notice it as much and i probably wasn't as disturbed by it because some changes i was looking forward to...wearing a belt again after having a baby, not carrying a diaper bag, no car seats, not having to hire a sitter...you get the picture.
but as my family has grown up and the changes move them out of my house and daily life, i've struggled.  but it's not only with family that changes have come.  friendship is the place where i am most struggling these days.  i read two blog posts today as i finally caught up on email.  in all honesty, i believe they are providentially meant for me.
one from the Nester on friendship.  it's been a long time since i've actually worked at being a friend.  to both old friends and new ones.  i need to be open to making new, close friends.  i have lots of people that i like, really like but i haven't let them into the 'inner friend zone.'  that's been exclusively reserved for just a few friends.  probably because they've known me the longest and i really love them.  they've seen me at my best and my worst.  and they still loved me.  back to the changing part of the story.  as much as i've hated every second of it, these friendships have changed.  no one moved away or hates my guts but they have changed.
enter the second God-sent blog:  Rachel Held Evans on faith and friendship. many of my friendships have come out of the church for various reasons...i work there, for starters. but as some of my closest friends are struggling with the church (being hurt by people in the church, struggling with theology that is taught, and just with the organized church in general) the friendships change.  we don't see each other.  maybe we don't believe the same things anymore.  and this all matters to me.  and i've been mad.  distressed.  and perhaps judgemental.  
so i'm writing this post to declare that i am going to try to embrace the changes.
to love the people where they are.
to make new friends and open myself up to what the future holds. 

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2 comments:

  1. I feel ya, T. The evolution of relationships can be wonderful and sometimes, painful. We too often expect things and people to stay as they are because that's how we are comfortable with them. Some changes are a pleasant surprise. Others demand something from us and often at times that we're ill equipped to give whatever is required to keep that relationship nurtured and a vital part of our lives. You're not alone in this. I feel the same struggle and wish us both the best as we try to grow with these relationships

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  2. Girlfriend, I have also been pondering friendships...today, in fact. I get where you are coming from. It is hard. It is messy too. I am in the midst of a lot of thinking about all this too.

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