everchanging view

this is my favorite time of day.  Everyone is up and off.  i've pried them out of bed, fed them, made their lunches, hugged and kissed them. 
then i can hear it.
the beautiful sound of quiet.

in days past, you'd find me rushing around, making a to do list,  scurrying about, trying to accomplish it, so that i could be productive. 

in days past, you'd find me somewhat motivated but mostly paralyzed by whatever pressing thought popped into my jumbled brain.

in days past, you'd find me hurrying off to the computer to put 'it' on my calendar, or fire off an email about 'it', or make that appointment to see about 'it' so that i am a good wife, mother, employee, person, etc...

in days past, you'd find me driven by the scattered details, obeying the chaotic components of my life that screamed the loudest in my head 'DO THIS NOW!'

but today.  today i sit.  sit still.  i breathe. 
i reflect. i daydream.  and write and read and meditate.
and sometimes sleep. 
i think and pray.
i listen.  it's time to listen. 

in days past, i would never allow myself this.  such frivolous non-productivity. 

but today.  i gather myself.  i begin but not just to check off the list so that i have done a good job in my life today. 

today, i began by living.